Over my decade shooting weddings, I’ve noticed that the weddings with the best energy and sense of joy aren’t always the ones where everything goes perfectly.
You might have pictured the details of this day over the years; the walk down the aisle, what you’ll wear, who will give a funny speech, and what it will be like to celebrate with all the people you love most. But all that anticipation can also set the table for high expectations. Imagining a fantasy wedding means you might panic if it suddenly rains, the caterer is late, or a guest’s pet poodle eats one of the wedding rings.
Anything can happen on your wedding day, but here’s the good news: if you’re marrying the right person, that’s what matters most. Here are some tips from my years of capturing weddings.
There are a thousand things you can plan and control before your wedding. So enjoy the preparation, do your research, and set yourself up so you can trust the people you’ve hired to take care of everything while you enjoy.
Choose vendors with beautiful portfolios and great reviews who match your energy. Ottawa has a myriad of options for wedding florists, caterers, venues, photographers, musicians, planners, and more. There’s something for every price range and style of wedding. If you don’t see what you need to see, ask for more examples of their work, request references, and check out online reviews. Doing your due diligence up front means you can entrust the day to your team to run the show while you just get to exist.
Photo by Boyo Photography
Do trial runs for makeup, hair, catering, and venues. Get to know the pros you’re hiring, and try them out to see if it’s a good fit. Ask your potential wedding photographer to take your engagement photos to get comfortable with each other, see how your chemistry is, and to see if you get back photographs you’re excited about. I also love taking family photos of couples whose weddings I photograph. There are some folks who had me shoot their engagement photos, later their wedding photos, and now have me come back year-after-year to capture beautiful shots of their kids as they grow up. Finding a skilled photographer you’re familiar with translates to great on-camera energy.
Book a consultation or schedule a call to chat with the vendor you’re considering, go visit a venue at a time of day that matches when your wedding will be, do a trial of the makeup you’ll be wearing to see how it looks when you sweat or wear it all day, and to be sure you’re really ready to go for that shade of seafoam on your eyelids. If you’ve heard your wedding band live and tried the cake you’ll be eating, it will be easier to relax and enjoy on the day of your wedding; you’ll already have rehearsed everything and now it’s just time to enjoy the show!
If you already practice any kind of mindfulness, you know that it’s a constant practice. Staying present and aware of your surroundings is hard enough in everyday life. But add in the intensity of a wedding day with your closest family and friends where you’re the constant centre of attention. So how can you enjoy the day? The people I know who do this best make it a practice throughout their wedding day:
This is such a simple point, but why put this special day together if you can’t enjoy it? I am always happy when I see couples I photograph basking in the joy of the day and really noticing how much love is around them. I’ve also seen many situations where someone is letting a little problem or an aesthetic issue throw off the whole energy of the wedding day. Setting a simple intention like leaning into joy when you feel it, or noticing what’s meaningful can be the difference between a nervous and a joyful energy.
You’ll be more likely to embrace joy and fun if you’ve slept well, eaten well, and taken time to rest before the wedding. Schedule time for a bath the night before, make sure your morning is full of minimal time commitments on your wedding day, and remember to take time for what lets you feel calm and happy.
Any conversation with any friend who’s out in the dating world will quickly remind you of how special it is to find a person you want to commit to and marry. While singleness has many joys, it’s a jungle out there! There are countless dating apps, speed dating activities, and people trying to set you up unsuccessfully when you’re looking for a partner. There’s so much that goes into finding someone who’s a great partner for you. From shared values and life goals to the little things you may share: like the right words of support when you’re ranting about your tough day, a shared sense of humour, or just being loved for who you are in the best ways. I say all this to emphasize that finding a human you want to spend life with is profound and beautiful. This day is meant to be a joy, a celebration, and a wonderful time to say “wow–we found each other” and share that with those who are your biological or chosen family. So don’t forget how far you’ve come and how wonderful it is to be here with this person today.
Some people say the wedding is about the couple, and others feel it’s more important to honour elders, traditions, and the way the parents want the day to be. Each person is different, but overall I think it’s essential to find the right elements of tradition, culture and heritage while also making your wedding an event that you’re comfortable with.
I’ve seen couples from different religious backgrounds create a beautiful, blended ceremony. I’ve witnessed how tricky it can be when a couple commits to a kind of religious ceremony or attire that’s focused only on what the parents or grandparents want. Have honest, open conversations with your partner and loved ones to build boundaries and make compromises, so you’re not stressed out on the day feeling that your wedding doesn’t represent who you are. For example, if you don’t want to get married in a church or temple, perhaps a compromise to honour religious elders could be asking them to say a prayer or blessing during the ceremony. Consider creative ways to build a wedding that represents you –– without making the day into something you’ll feel uncomfortable about.
This is for all your people-pleasers, organizers, and do-it-yourself-ers. Notice when people want to help out or make the day more pleasant. If you’re tired and someone offers you a chair, say yes! If you notice a guest who needs help getting to their car or finding another person to talk to, ask someone to go take care of it rather than making it your responsibility. If you’ve hired vendors you trust, let them run things and feel free to delegate duties rather than taking on too much yourself.
Beyond the basics like food, clothing, and venues, there will also be surprises on the day. It’s inevitable. You may want to pick a few designated people; perhaps your maid of honour, a groomsman, a reliable uncle, or a great-aunt who loves to micromanage, and ask them to be on call or in charge of things that come up. Perhaps helping people find their placards at the reception, organizing everyone so they know when it’s time for group photos, or sending emails to make sure everyone knows where to meet. Giving guests little jobs makes them feel included, needed, and frees up your time to look around, enjoy the love, and take it all in.
Unplanned chaos is inevitable, even if you’re the best wedding planner in the world. Whether it’s tiny like a late guest, or major like a big weather event or a city-wide marathon that diverts some of your wedding traffic, things may come up. Know that there may be surprises. Don’t be afraid to ask “What if this was funny instead of stressful?” or “What really matters here?” I love capturing surprises on wedding days, and sometimes the moments you don’t expect are the most memorable. A bit of wine on a wedding dress might seem like the end of the world. But if you can laugh at it, you’ll likely smile at the memory for years to come. And if I’m there to capture it, I’ll get a great photo of you either way.
As an experienced wedding photographer with front row seats to every special moment of your wedding day, Boyo Photography will unobtrusively capture every little moment, letting you shine. Let’s have a conversation and talk about how to make your day fun, stress-free, and all that you want it to be. Just call 613-322-7410 or email me at info@boyophoto.ca.
